My in-laws own a grocery store but I will take a stab at your post anyway.
Its fine that the store can make all those claims but Im looking for customer service.If I ask an employee where to find the rice pudding and I get "thats not my department", they had better figure on putting a cart load of groceries back on the shelf.
They should have said .carry out
.a full service gas bar
.speedy check out
.helpful staff and really mentioned the product they were selling.
Advertising costs can really add up and it is crazy how shops still waste it.I have noticed that alot of advertising is done only when the shop needs to generate some extra work.However due to phoney menu pricing and a play on numbers it fails to generate enough work to pay for the ad. Great post Bud!
e
_________________ Jason Clark owner/tech
Clarks Automotive
Wellington Ontario
Canada
Good points, Jason, but there is one larger aspect, which is wrong, that overshadows the entire ad. I'll wait a week to explain it, which will give anybody interested time to think it over.
Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 774 Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 7:40 am Post subject:
Bud wrote:
Good points, Jason, but there is one larger aspect, which is wrong, that overshadows the entire ad. I'll wait a week to explain it, which will give anybody interested time to think it over.
Hi Bud,
My guess would be the ad seems to be written all about the shop. If I were a client, I would want to know what's in it for me. Why should I do business with these folks? Thanks Bud, I am really looking forward to your answer.
Good points, Jason, but there is one larger aspect, which is wrong, that overshadows the entire ad. I'll wait a week to explain it, which will give anybody interested time to think it over.
Hi Bud,
My guess would be the ad seems to be written all about the shop. If I were a client, I would want to know what's in it for me. Why should I do business with these folks? Thanks Bud, I am really looking forward to your answer.
Well, you are getting warm. Like most ads written by the untrained, it is written all about the business.
Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 774 Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 7:10 pm Post subject:
Bud wrote:
louis wrote:
Hi Bud,
My guess would be the ad seems to be written all about the shop. If I were a client, I would want to know what's in it for me. Why should I do business with these folks? Thanks Bud, I am really looking forward to your answer.
Well, you are getting warm. Like most ads written by the untrained, it is written all about the business.
I've done my share of that, not real effective. Over time I learned it is way less expensive to pay a professional. Isn't that what we tell people about their vehicles?
Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 146 Location: Garden City, KS
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 7:17 pm Post subject:
It looks like a bad combination of an electronics liquidation at a large convention center (this weekend only!), and a monster truck rally. I'm looking forward to your answer, Bud. Later, Matt.
_________________ Matt Fanslow
ASE CMAT/L1
Crag-Technologies, Inc
www.wavehook.com
Liquidations and truck rallies. Let's not forget a circus either.
Funny, but on topic. Here's a hint. Suppose you met a stranger at a party, and all he could talk about was himself. How would you feel? Now suppose you met another stranger, and he talked all about you. How interested in him would you be then?
Good advertising is the same way. Unfortunately, most advertising is poorly done. So if a shop owner just copies what he sees everyday, he is copying mistakes.
Joined: 19 May 2007 Posts: 206 Location: Camp Verde, AZ
Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:02 pm Post subject:
Bud,
I have been watching and reading ads all week trying to figure out what is wrong with what you posted. The closest thing I could come up with is basically what Louis said, there is no benefit for me in it. There is no emotional tug.
Funny what you say about copying others mistakes. Most of the advice given seems to be to find an ad you like and copy it. Or copy the ads of what the other shops in the area are doing.
I am also awaiting what you have to say.
_________________ David Wittmayer
Owner / Manager
Hansen Enterprises Fleet Repair, LLC
Camp Verde, AZ
www.hefrshop.com
Just for fun,would you give us an example of the flip side of what this ad should read like if you were the grocery store owner looking to bring in customers? Thanks
_________________ Jason Clark owner/tech
Clarks Automotive
Wellington Ontario
Canada
Just for fun,would you give us an example of the flip side of what this ad should read like if you were the grocery store owner looking to bring in customers? Thanks
Better yet, why don't you re-write the ad and post it here on a new thread. It will be a good exercise for you. Then we'll discuss it.
Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 146 Location: Garden City, KS
Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 6:25 pm Post subject:
Now in your neighborhood, a grocery store that strives to meet your needs.
* You will find that our associates are determined to exceed your needs. Each employee dedicates 60hrs per year for training to meet that endeavour.
* Here are pictures of our clientel that felt we exceeded their expectations and why.
* Our equipment is the best. We buy the best brands of grocery store equipment money can buy.
* Our refrigerators are the coldest, our lighting is the brightest, our shelves are the nicest, our floors are clean, our entryway looks pretty, even our cash registers are the most accurate.
* Our hours of operation are great.
* We are close to you.
Wait! There is still more!
* We give out coupons.
* We have an in-house bank, a pharmacy and even a post office.
* We have a gas station in our parking lot.
* We sell produce, boxed food, bagged food, frozen food, and many things that are not even food. Chances are, we sell everything you would want to buy in a grocery store.
* We sell things made in America and things imported.
* So come in today and see what you have been missing when you shop for groceries.
Okay...I started running out of ideas on how to alter each line to make it more appealing. I tried to imagine just having a conversation.... Sorry, Bud. What other experience can I draw upon to make futher alterations? Am I on the right track? Thanks, Matt.
_________________ Matt Fanslow
ASE CMAT/L1
Crag-Technologies, Inc
www.wavehook.com
Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 774 Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 9:21 am Post subject: Re: What is wrong with this ad?
Hi Bud,
I'm all charged up from vacation, I'll take a few stabs at it:
* Our people are the best in the business. They have all been to grocery store school and have attended many classes. All have professional certifications from their classes on how to work in a grocery store.
Never stand around wondering where things are again.
Our wine expert will suggest the perfect wine for your dinner.
Ten different bread types and our people can explain the difference in each.
* We have more experience than anybody else does.
* Here are pictures of the people that work here.
Here's what many of you say about our service: Testimonials
(Isn't all this impressive? There is still more!)
* Our equipment is the best. We buy the best brands of grocery store equipment money can buy.
* Our refrigerators are the coldest, our lighting is the brightest, our shelves are the nicest, our floors are clean, our entryway looks pretty, even our cash registers are the most accurate.
Our cigars are like the day they were rolled, our humidor is why.
We keep your wine at the perfect temperature for you.
Quicker registers, no waiting to check out.
* Our hours of operation are great.
Open 24/7, here when you need us
Man, I need another vacation! Now I see why I pay someone to do this for me. I need to give Jeff a raise
Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 774 Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 11:30 am Post subject: Re: What is wrong with this ad?
Bud wrote:
louis wrote:
Hi Bud,
Man, I need another vacation! Now I see why I pay someone to do this for me. I need to give Jeff a raise
Very good. Eight years of college paid off for you, I can see.
It's funny, trying to see things through the other person's perspective has far more applications than just advertising. Trying to lead others is much easier if the aim can be explained from their perspective as well.
Thanks Bud, I appreciate all of the knowledge you contribute.
Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 1:49 pm Post subject: Re: What is wrong with this ad?
Quote:
It's funny, trying to see things through the other person's perspective has far more applications than just advertising. Trying to lead others is much easier if the aim can be explained from their perspective as well.
We mechanics get irrated when customers say 'Just put my car on your machine and tell me what is wrong with it.' Actually, we are insulted that people think anybody can fix cars, and that it doesn't take years of experience and learning.
Yet we do the same thing to advertising pros when we say 'Just write me an ad that will bring in droves of people.' It is like saying 'teach me how to write ads, I've got fifteen minutes.'
Bud sorry I missed your reply.We started building our new shop and my internet time is suffering because of it.
I just tried to write an ad that didnt use "we"or "I" in it,be original and still get a readers attention with out using the same old pitches they hear every day.For me it was next to impossible! I guess thats why I fix cars.
This forum was a great idea,lately I find myself reading the newspaper ads looking for businesses that seem to be wasting their advertising money,including mine! Keep up the good work!
_________________ Jason Clark owner/tech
Clarks Automotive
Wellington Ontario
Canada
Thanks, Jason. It appears that you have learned a valuable lesson that most small business owners never learn; don't write your own advertising. Now you won't waste the next few years running poor, low response ads, and losing all the customers you 'could have had.'
Many of the products we buy today, the national and international brands, were for a long time only small, regional brands. When the companies wanted to grow their markets, they hired ad agencies to do the promotional work for them.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
I'm looking forward to your answer, Bud. Later, Matt.
